G.R.I.T.S
This is for Meg and all of the other southern girls out there!!!
You know GRITS....GIRLS RAISED IN THE SOUTH!!!!!!
Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
Drinking straight out of a can
Not sending thank you notes
Velvet after February
White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day
Southern girls know the three types of school
Ballroom, Ballet, Charm.
Southern girls appreciate their natural assets:
Dewy skin
A winning smile
That unforgettable Southern drawl
Southern girls know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am"
"Yes, sir"
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your mother?"
"Love your hair."
Southern girls don't sweat.... They glisten.
Southern girls know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern girls have more fun than should be allowed.
Southern girls know their three R's:
Rich
Richer
Richest
Southern girls know their vacation spots:
The Beach
The Beach
The Beach
Southern girls know the joys of June, July, and August:
Summer tans
Wide brimmed hats
Strapless sun dresses
Southern girls know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Sugah
Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
"Gone With the Wind"
"Fried Green Tomatoes"
"Driving Miss Daisy"
"Steel Magnolias"
Southern girls know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern girls know the seasons:
Recruiting
Spring Training
Practice
Football
Needlework
Southern girls know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
GRITS
Country ham
Mouth watering homemade biscuits
Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern
charm:
Charleston
Savannah
New Orleans
Birmingham
Southern girls know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler, of course
Y'all know Southern girls are quick on the drawl.
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls can teach anyone to flirt ...
Slowly lower your eyelashes.
Listen carefully to everything he says.
Speak r-e-a-l slow.
Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
Bad hair
Bad manners
Bad blind dates
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are forevah!
Now you run along Sugah, and send this to some other Girls Raised In The South, i.e., Southern Belles!
posted by beachgirl @ 7:10 AM
60 Comments:
Southern girls know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform - I'll step up...
Southern girls can teach anyone to flirt ...
And they to it very well!
Well Sugar you go right on ahead and step right up...I do love a man in uniform- It's like the shoe thing with CB...
As far as teaching you to flirt, I think you do pretty well for yourself...
I've had some good practice lately.
With anyone I know??? ;)
Hmmmmm, perhaps someone who enjoys the ocean. Or maybe not, my mind is a little fuzzy.
Oh stop it...
OK, stopping...
At least stopping on the blog
you are too much!!
Yeah, so umm . . . Get a Room!!!
Love you both so much. (Beach, I know you can HEAR me saying that in your head . . . insert my ever present sarcasm . . yep, there it is)
Hey- at least I wan't trashy enough to do it on SOMEONE ELSE's blog... Ohhhhh I think someone just got called out!!! ;)
Yes I can hear that ever present drawl that owns me by the way..
I LOVE YOU TOO GURL!!!
E's going to be mad cuz he's already gone to bed for the night... I wish we could all get on some sort of schedule...
LOL . . will never happen.
Aussie's, Iraqis and Americans all up at the same time . . . PASHAW!
However, I have the best chance . . considering I make it a rule to NEVER work on Friday. NEVER! I once worked 12 hr days 4 days a week to avoid working Friday.
I love my twisted logic. But the world should realize 7-day week . . it only makes sense to work 4 and be off 3.
I DO love someone who knows what southern girls are all about. I spent a year in New York and lawd knows my drawl got about as thick as anything- just 'cause I liked watching the Yankees squirm when I asked for sweet tea at EVERY. SINGLE. RESTAURANT. none had it, of course. but it's great fun to give the southern smile and ask for some "sweet tea, please"
Meg we all love your twisted logic and I'm sure chair would love sooooo much more about you... Go ahead gurl!!!
Birdie- Welcome,welcome!!! I like the way you think... making yankees uncomfortable is favorite past time of mine...
Use Ma'am.
Ma'am makes em real uncomfortable.
The last time I was in DC . . . a woman dropped a $100 bill on the ground. I chased her two blocks calling "Ma'am, Ma'am?" and finally said "Miss?" and she turned quick as lightning. She was real appreciative but keep saying "I heard someone saying something but I couldn't make sense of it."
Can't make sense of "ma'am"????
Where were these people raised??
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No sugar on your grits, Sugah!
A co-worker and I are having a hoot teaching our international (and some Yankee) co-workers how to act and speak like a Southerner (I am a proud Kentucky boy). We're not talking cotillions, either...simply everyday speak.
Listening to someone from China attempt to say "Jeet yet?" is classic.
I will post on my site "15 ways to get a Southern ass-whippin" shortly.
Ya'll have a nice day, now.
Too funny--I see what you two have been doing, I haven't checked out BG for awhile-and here is where you and Eunuch have been!!
Well, CB you should check out my blog a little more... It's good times..
Isn't that right E??
Okay . . just thinking about posting under your mammaws blog had me cooling off a bit. It was as effective as the shower at the gym!
What are you kids trying to do to me?
Well, if I talked dirty to you, would that help?? Here let me get towel and dry you off if you're all hot and sweaty....
LOL
UGH!
Beachgirl, love you much, but if there's ONE thing I know for sure about myself . . .it's that I'm as straight as the day is long.
Straight, straight, straight.
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No,no, wait, go back--yes, Meghan is very hot and sweaty, so she'd love some help drying off, you take a nice terry cloth towel and start rubbing her back, the air is a little tense with anticipation, you look into each other's eyes....
Nope, never even heard of it!
But loved that white shirt on you though!
My . . umm . . .assets are too large to be placing them in a white shirt. I'm trying to diminish them, not enhance! It's a bear to be blessed in that area! No white, never ever.
I have a SINGLE white silk camisole that I wear with this one particular silk jacket . . but otherwise, no go on white.
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Then CB walks into the room... What could happen next??
ARGH!
Do you realize we both slipped and used our real names? You called me by my nickname and I used your all out real one . . . should we delete those comments?
Yes, it's ok to delete and then repost them or whatever. no need to let the secrets out!
Sorry about that, kids.
But I would just die if anyone found out that I was doing this kind of thing.
I already feel like Birdie's looking at me a little funny lately.
This is just so different for me.
I don't know what it is about our small group that turns me into this person!
Ok- all better now... Where were we?? I think CB just got into the shower with us or is drying us off??
Is he using a towel?
I don't know... is he???
Hmm, well, yes, I know what it is meghan, you don't want to admit it, but our small group turns you on because you really have a secret desire to be with both BG and myself, not really sure why, but I support it! I think you want to protect BG from the harsh, cruel, world.
So I walk in, and find you all hot and sweaty from the gym, and BG is trying to help out, but she's unsure how to proceed, b/c she's a real sweetie and this is all new to her as well.
Me, being the super flirtatious Army guy, immediately want to be a part of this, especially after the pillow fight the other night.
I start to towel off Meghan with a very nice terry cloth towel, but what is the point, she's all hot and sweaty? We should really get her showered off, don't you think?
I definitely need to be showered.
Someone should be a gentleman and offer to lather me up . . .
Showers are good, but I'm just the sweet little innocent thing, I don't know anything... Shouldn't we work E into this somehow??
Well I wouldn't want to be ungentlemanly, so of course I take all of this into the shower, just a big shower party now, and proceed to take a nice bar of Dove and lather Meghan up after her little workout at the gym.
The bubbles are so thick and rich! Don't you like how they feel all over of your skin?
Oh shit, Birdie just popped her head in the door and left in disgust-she looked none to happy that you didn't call her and let her know you weren't meeting her for shopping, or that you're in the shower with two other people!
Yes BG you're right, of course-E should immediately be a part of all of this! he's missing out!
Jealousy is bitter pill to swallow... Who wouldn't be jealous of us with a big strong airman...ooops wrong fantasy, I mean a soldier...
Tell me more about the shower...
Well I don't want to make E jealous, nor do I make any territorial type claim to BG over this blog.
But, we ARE in the shower, so what can I do but get BG and Meghan very soapy in the hot water?
I asked Birdie into the shower too but she just scowled at me and slammed the bathroom door in my face.
Umm . .. bubbles.
I don't know what feels better, the bubbles raising on my body or the hands putting them there.
Oh oh oh, don't joke about Birdie . . seriously, you didn't see some of the looks she gave me this weekend . . I think she's questioning my sanity!! (hell, I'm questioning my sanity!)
Claims?
Territory?
Is it odd that I'm getting completely hot over this small display of cavemanesque behavior???
Hell, you should have seen the look Birdie gave ME when she flung open that bathroom door-if looks could kill-I think I'm banned from her blog now, daggone it.
meg- where are you??? It's getting lonely without you....
You are definetly getting hot over this talk of claims and territory.
You enjoy the hands rubbing soap on your back-of course there are 2 pairs of hands because BG is helping too!
Hmm, not sure if I should keep going or not?
Oh I love the caveman type behavior.. HOT,HOT, HOT.. Biting my lower lip now..mmmmmmm
If BG is soaping me, please god let her hands be the ones on my back . . anything else is a bit too lesbian.
However, Chair, angel, would you be a sweet boy and soap my front? I feel that's where I'm the dirtiest at the moment.
And yes, the territorial talk is getting me hot. I can't help it . . I'm an odd girl that likes a manly man. One who claims what is his and keeps it.
I think E's calling me... yep I'm pretty sure... Coming dear....
Of course, what can I do but oblige you and soap your front! LOL, this IS fun, I must admit, and BG has a big smile on her face soaping your back, I mean, it's all right if you have feelings for each other, E and I really won't mind (Birdie, on the other hand...)
You found us out, we lurv each other in that "forbidden" way...
Eventually I get in the middle, and make a big CS sandwich, becuase what can I do but demand soaping myself from two women? LOL
Yep.
In fact, we lied to you guys.
We totally got together this weekend on Beale.
Didn't you wonder where we both were Friday night?
We weren't out with our respective friends.
We were together.
"TOGETHER" together.
BG, baby, I've never received such sweet kisses. And your touch . . OMG, just the right amount of pressure. That intimate moment where pleasure is almost pain.
Just thinking about it . . oh dear Lord . .
So now, of course, I have to let you two soap each other for awhile, and I can barely get out of the way and avoid the soap bubbles, and of course, the eager, tender little kisses between you two while you are in the shower, all pressed up against each other, ummm, hotttt....
Of course.
Our kisses build up until we're dying for more.
We need you between us. We need to be able to touch and caress you.
Whoohoo--back in the middle-caressing my back and shoulder and my chest-I'm in heaven!
We're massaging you as we soap you. Touching everywhere you ask us to.
Our mouths follow our hands.
ALL, WHAT I WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN TO NOT HAVE TO SLEEP!
you have no idea how much I agree with you... I wish you had been here too...
LOL-Sleep, who needs sleep? I went to bed at 0600.
Beachgirl...I stumbled across your page some kind of way a while back and check it from time to time...Like others i'm sure, i am drawn to your unique attitude/style, and also your zest for life...plus i get a kick out of your love of football and your true soul connection to things genuinely southern.....thanks for sharing your perspectives, and stay darlin', darling..
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