My Momma's coming for a vist...

Lord help me....my momma is comming for a visit. Now I know what most of you are thinking, that should be fun... Well not in the south!! When you're momma is coming for a visit your house better be white glove clean... For someone like me with a very active social life, that can be a chore, no pun intended... Now, my house is NOT dirty, it's just a little messy... There is a difference...

My momma used to say things like, "oh don't clean on my account" and I believed her until she finally had enough of coming to my house for a visit and working like a Hebrew Slave to get it well, the way she liked it. That was a HUGE mistake on my part.. It was a trap!

WARNING: DO NOT EVER BELIEVE YOUR MOMMA WHEN SHE SAYS NOT TO DO ANYTHING SPECIAL FOR HER VISIT... INSTEAD YOU MUST STOP WHAT ARE DOING IMMEDIATELY, GO TO THE GROCERY TO STOCK THE FIRDGE WITH ALL OF HER FAVORITES (including the little mini-bottles of chocolate liqueur she says she "only drinks on cold nights in her coffee at the tailgate parties")...

Side note: My momma's house is always clean and immaculate and it makes me nuts... I did not inherit her love of cleaning... When she is nervous or upset, she cleans... I look for the nearest pint of Ben and Jerry's and a sofa to crawl up on... This is really all her fault if you think about it.. when I was little, I never cleaned my room, she always did it for me.. It's one of the benefits of being an only child from a "broken home" i.e. my parents were divorced: GUILT.. Both of my parents carried it with them and I milked it for all it was worth, for YEARS!! That is until they caught on to my plan, well momma caught on, daddy is still clueless!!

Ok back to the story, so the last time she was here and worked like a Hebrew Slave, she pretty much told me that this was much like the Exodus and she was done being a slave... For fear she might bring down 7 deadly plagues upon me, I got the picture and am now working like a Hebrew Slave myself in order to make things perfect for her visit...

Now even if everything is clean, she will still come in and re-arrange my kitchen and other rooms to get it like she likes it... I don't fuss at her, because I'll just change it back when she's gone...It's a right of passage for all southern women to hope for the approval of their mommas. I'm pretty sure I have my momma's approval on many fronts, but it's a cross southern daughters carry, trying to please their mommas, it's a life long journey...

I am looking forward to her visit mainly b/c I'm drunk right now, and plan to remain drunk for the entire time she is here...I'M SO JUST KIDDING!! She will be here for Holy Week and Easter and I couldn't be more excited...